Yankee Mustache Retires, Moved to Front Office Role

The hard-hitting mustache that resided on Yankee 1st baseman Jason Giambi's face has announced his retirement from the game. He had spent almost three months with the team and helped Giambi break out of a frustrating hitting slump, although the mustache's overall batting average was just .182 and Giambi now says it's just the right time for the mustache to leave the game.

"There's no more hits in it," Giambi said as he boarded the team bus for the team's flight to Dallas. "No more hits."

Yankee fans had joyously supported the 'stache and often brought their own fake mustaches to home games. It had become a cultural symbol in the Bronx and almost helped Giambi win a spot on this year's all star team.

The Yankees handed out 20,000 fake mustaches to fans attending the Yankees-Rays game on July 9 in an attempt to get him the final spot on the team. But he didn't win the Internet voting by the fans, and now Giambi will try to regain his hitting touch as a clean-shaven guy.

It doesn't appear that the mustache's playing career was quite long enough to be considered for induction into Cooperstown, although mustache aficianados such as Burt Reynolds have already talked of starting a petition.

For more on the magical mustache, New York Newsday has you covered.
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Yankees Trade For Mini-Pudge

This post is far less an informative study of today's New York trade as it is a chance to remind folks who mini-Pudge is. First the news:

The New York Yankees traded pitcher Kyle Farnsworth for Detroit catcher Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez. With Yankee catcher Jorge Posada going down with injury at a crucial time of the season it was no secret the Yanks were on the prowl for a catcher. It's a mediocre trade that should slightly benefit New York, although today's Rodriguez is nowhere near productive as he was in his early years, both offensively and defensively.

Now on to mini-Pudge. You see, before the steroid era and the Mitchell Report, Ivan Rodriguez was a power-hitting catcher with a giant Barry Bonds sized noggin. He was huge. Mysteriously, after steroid-use became taboo and testing became more prevalent, Pudge Rodriguez became "mini-Pudge." The evidence after the jump.





See what I mean? His miniaturization literally happened over one short offseason. I remember him showing up for Spring Training the next year and thinking that he drank some sort of Beetlejuice-like head shrinking potion.

Now I'm not saying he was a steroid user just because his head shrank. I'm just pointing out that...oh who are we kidding, yeah that's what I'm saying.

I feel bad for pitcher Kyle Farnsworth who was traded out of NY for Rodriguez. He actually cried today during an on-camera interview about the trade. When he first came to the big apple he couldn't stop talking about how excited he was to be a Yankee and how we wanted to stay for several years. So much for that. Listen Kyle, it's like getting a transfer out of the Death Star. You're back among the good guys. (CONTINUE READING)