Lebron, Kobe, and now D-Wade. Greece Lightning: The 50 million dollar question

They asked Lebron, they asked Kobe, and now their Olympic teammate, Dwayne Wade, was asked the big question. Would you go to Europe if offered fifty million dollars? The overwhelming response from all these players seems to be yes. Again, this is an early discussion, because like Kobe and Lebron, Wade's contract is not up for two years. But this is setting up 2010 to be the most important year for the NBA since the ABA merger in 1976. 

But the most shocking quote to come out of this interview was not that Wade would consider bolting for Greece for the big payday. It's this quote that he offered up when asked about Josh Childress' Greek contract:

"...the way his deal is structured Josh is making just about the same as I am after taxes."

Woah there! You're telling me Dwayne Wade, who put a lowly Marquette team on his back and took them to a Final Four? Dwayne Wade, who led an aging, hurt, Miami Heat team to an upset NBA Championship? That Dwayne Wade, is making as much as, I'm best known for my afro, Josh Childress? I hope David Stern has a firm grip on his synthetic balls, because he's about to get kicked square in them.
There of course is a grain of salt to be taken here though, because any player in the world is going to say yes to entertaining a huge offer from a European team. It's always worth thinking about taking large sums of money; at the very least it keeps NBA owners on their toes, so they'll pony up more money come negotiation time. But the downsides to the European Vacation could be greater than the ups. 

It's silly not to underestimate the drawing power of the history and location of David Stern's league. Leaving the NBA, for the majority of the players, would mean leaving your friends, leaving your family, leaving your culture; leaving home. I would have to think a lot of players would take a pay-cut to not lose all that. 

Then there's also the record books. Leaving for Europe would put a big scar on the player's place in NBA history. Records would come up short, Hall of Fame ballots might not be cast, and ditched franchises would be forever spiteful. These guys grew up watching Bird, Jordan, and Magic, and tried hard their whole lives to one day be able to emulate what those great players did. Giving all that up for a yacht shaped like a bottle of Cristal, might not be worth it. 

But this is also the age of lavish spending, cutting edge style, and international appeal. I mean how would it look to his posse if Josh Childress' Bentley is more fly than D-Wade's? Plus the possibility of being the player who ushers in a new era of global basketball could go down in history as the single greatest player in the sport period; trumping any NBA achievements. 

But that opportunity is only open for one man, so I guess the inevitable question is: who's going to do it? With the foreign-born heritage, the stage he's at in his career, and the adoration he's received in Beijing I have a very good feeling Shaq's gonna have something all new to rap about in 2010.

The story from the South Florida Sun-Sentinel is here

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Lebron Loves Baklava But Kobe Loves Cannolis. Bryant to Italy in 2010?

We first reported on Ben Gordon's possible European affair, which escalated into Lebron's interest, and now MVP Kobe Bryant says that he would "probably go" if offered $50 million from an Italian team like Milan.

"Like Milan or something like that, where I grew up or something like that? Peace out." Bryant continued: "Do you know any reasonable person that would turn down 50 (million dollars)?"  

If Ben Gordon went to Europe a couple of people in Chicago and his mom would be upset. If Lebron leaves, David Stern will resign, the NBA's ratings will take a nosedive, and the city of Cleveland will implode. But what would happen if Italian born Kobe decided to return home for a year in 2010?

1. Pau Gasol Will Cry Himself to Sleep. 

Drafted by the historically horrible Hawks, Gasol was rescued by the Vancouver Grizzlies, who suck just as bad, but at least the grizzly bearded Spaniard would fit in with the Canadian lumberjacks. Then, Vancouver, unable to sell enough Maple Syrup to support an NBA franchise, moved the team to Memphis. If you've ever been to ghettolicious Memphis you could see how a seven foot Spaniard would have a tough time there. 

But the clouds seemingly opened up for him again, when Phil Jackson let GM Chris Wallace sleep with Jeannie Bus in exchange for Gasol. I think if Pau gets hosed one more time when Kobe leaves him with a bunch of "energy guys," he's going to keep his neighbor's awake at night with the sound of tears falling from seven feet off the ground.


2. Long Live King Kobe. 

When Bryant arrives in Milan there will be thousands of people lining the streets to greet him. This won't be a couple of Long Island families in bootleg Jetts tees clinging to a chain link fence for Favre's autograph. I'm talking full on azure pride awaiting. Throngs of converted soccer hooligans drunkenly chanting their Kobe song they made up over a keg of Peroni last night. 

Not only is Bryant an Italian native, and fluent in the language, he defied the odds and left the United States for the sake of his home country. Sure the $50 million didn't hurt, but that's only $32.5 million Euros, so he's really just an average working class hero in Italy.

3. ESPN Will Start A New Channel. 

If you thought the coverage of "Bays of Our Lives" and "Spygate" were overdone, wait till the Kobe to Italy talks start heating up. Instead of just turning Sportscenter into Kobecenter like they did with Favre, they will also launch an entire channel called ESPNK, that is dedicated to nothing but Kobe Bryant coverage. 

Hear from insightful pundits like Kobe's high school math teacher, Olimpia Milano towel boys, and a guy who once gave him change for a dollar. Watch captivating footage of Kobe cashing his check at the bank, getting a slice of pizza, and watching his stocks. Marvel at the sports figures that ESPN drags out of retirement to talk about Kobe. It's a good thing ESPN is doing Sportscenter live all morning in a few days, because I'm just not getting enough coverage.

4. Kobe Can Resume Adultering. 

Kobe's bogus rape trial earned him a lifetime negative approval rating  everywhere outside of Los Angeles. Even though not convicted, cheating on your wife is a big time no-no in the morally righteous ideology of the United States. In Europe, sexual promiscuity is abundant, especially in Italy where lying about adultery is protected by the Italian version of The Supreme Court. 

So if some snooping paparazzi-man catches you fondling another woman's boobage, you have no need to worry. You can simply hold a press conference to say that you were giving her a complimentary breast exam that she won in a halftime free-throw shooting contest. And the Italians will be legally obligated to believe you.

Amore on Kobe's Italian Future at The Boston Globe.

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Lebrons's Love of Baklava Might Change Landscape of NBA

So I don't usually like to toot on my horn, but toot toot baby. So far this week I've mailed in Brett Favre's reinstatement letter for him hours before his actual fax, pointed out Michelle Wie's mental game weaknesses before a late collapse does her in this week, and now we get this story by Ian Thomsen of CNNSI: "Greek Team may take run at LeBron in 2010."

I will admit though, when I penned this little gem, I never believed that Europe was even close to making a run at an NBA starter, let alone the biggest star in the league. I was merely offering advice to David Stern, to sit back, take a look at what's going on, and try to come up with a long term solution. But if this rumor has any wings, Stern better kick it up a notch and start inciting fascist coups in opposing countries. While of course that's a ridiculous notion, the prospect of losing King James to a country with an actual monarchy has to be widening the skidmarks on Stern's already soiled britches.  

Something like this happening has always been quickly dismissed because the revenue gap between European teams and NBA teams is like the gap between Wal-Mart and K-Mart. No fiscal jockey could ever approve of the spending it would take to lure James. But as pointed out during the Josh Childress move, the owners of teams like Olympiakos, who bought Childress and are luring Lebron, couldn't care less about the bottom dollar. They're out to spend their money like it's Diddy's birthday. 

So what would happen if Olympiakos, just for the thrill of it, threw a huge amount of money in Lebron's face just to see what would happen? Because if there's one thing rich people like to do with their money, it's upstage other rich people. 

Would anyone call the Greek's bluff? I know the Cavs wouldn't. They're already in trouble of losing him because they won't shell out the dough to get him a high caliber wingman. (The Pippen to his Jordan, if you like.) So who then? Don't even look in the direction of the other small market teams, they barely stay afloat as it is. But what about the big market teams? Chicago's already cash-strapped, Miami will be by the time 2010 rolls around, D.C. just threw the vault at gimpy Gilbert, Boston's overloaded, and LA can't possibly afford Bryant, Gasol, and James. 

So that leaves us with New York. But the Knicks just finished a horrible run on the Isaiah train. As much as Bron Bron would energize a starving fanbase, I just don't think James Dolan's accountants would let him get  anywhere near that deal right now.  Which is why the logical choice is the soon to be Brooklyn Nets. Not that they could fiscally justify it, but because it's a matter of pride. For the sake of the reputation of his country the almighty Jiggaman will save the NBA. 

Jay-Z, inspired by a zeal to kick some Greek ass, will pen "The Lebron Chronicles," the greatest rap LP ever conceived. After this all other rappers will stop honing their craft any further as they have nowhere to go but down, and Jay-Z will virtually force everyone in the country to buy the historical album. He will then deliver a giant Cristal bottle filled with ten thousand dollar bills to Lebron's home in Cleveland, with a note that says "See you in the Bronx.  -Jigga" Yeah that's pretty much how it's gonna go down. While all of this might sound ridiculous and contrived, I was right about three other things this week, so you never know, right?

Ian Thomsen's little gem. 

  

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Breaking News: Ron Artest Is Still Ghetto

Well Houston, it looks like you have a problem. When asked about his team's trade for Ron Artest, Chinese Skyscraper Yao Ming said, "Hopefully he isn't fighting anymore and going after a guy in the stands." I think this is a fair concern. Whether it's a just a little joke, which is what I guess it is, or a serious assertion, Ming has a point.

But Artest isn't joking. He thinks Yao simply bought into all the "the propaganda" about him. When asked to explain, the punching Pacer had this to say, 

"I understand what Yao said but I'm still ghetto. That's not going to change. I'm never going to change my culture. I don't think he's ever played with a black player that really represents his culture as much as I represent my culture."

You have got to be kidding me. Look I'm not black, and I don't claim to be a great socio-political pundit but I think I'm safe when I say Ron Artest will not be called to have dinner with Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson anytime soon to discuss the state of the black community. He later goes on to say that after the brawl he "never changed" and was just defending his culture.

But nobody is trying to make you be somebody else Ron, they just want you to act with a little more grace considering the position you're in. Athletes and celebrities are paid ungodly amounts of money on one condition; keep up a good public image. Anything else, and the American people will take all that away from you. Just ask Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, who are finding work difficult to come by these days. But besides that, I don't care what your race, culture, or creed is, inciting riots and generally acting like a self-absorbed asshole is a representation of no one other than yourself.

Story courtesy of ESPN.com  

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Gilbert Arenas is Swimming in Wealth

Washington Wizards' Agent Zero had a very small stash of money and decided to build an extremely modest swimming pool. Here are some pics of his work in progress, click each one for the full size version:







Supposedly the stone used cost half a million dollars alone. It's widely believed that when complete this will be one of the largest residential pools in America. And he's not even practicing to be an Olympic synchronized swimmer. What a waste!

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British Ben Berlin Bound?

In what seems to be a scary trend among NBA 6th men, the Chicago Bull's Ben Gordon is reportedly interested in playing a little closer to home. When asked about playing in Europe for possibly more money, Gordon said, "Josh did it. It just depends on what the individual wants or what he can put up with. I'm from London, so it's definitely something that seems like it would be interesting.'"

The Josh referred to is Josh Childress, a stud bench player who left the Atlanta Hawks to play with a Greek team. While I certainly don't blame anyone leaving historically bad Atlanta, I'm afraid Childress may have just opened the floodgates...well at least cracked it a little bit.

I don't think there's any worry that European clubs will be swiping starters anytime soon, but there could be some very thin NBA benches in the next few years. A significant financial gap exists between NBA starters and NBA reserves, and with the dollar down and the euro up, Europeans are finding the time right to offer lucrative salaries to semi-stars. With the addition of extra cash flow, the players get to drop the semi label, and be treated as stars.

There are significant downsides to the move of course. Language barriers, cultural differences, downgraded facilities, and in some cases violent surroundings. But the more players that do defect to the Euro Leagues, the wider the crack in the gate gets, making it even easier for players to make the jump.

In Ben Gordon's case, I think he stays. The Bulls are looking to build a championship team around Derrick Rose, and Gordon would be a pretty nice wing-man for him to have in the coming years, so I think they pay up. As for the rest of the league, only time and the depth of Euro owner's pockets will tell if this is to become a serious issue for David Stern and the NBA.

More on Gordon at The Chicago Daily Herald

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A King's Ransom

There will be partying at The Palms tonight. The Sacaramento Kings, owned by the Mallof brothers, who also own The Palms hotel and casino, just got rid of their unhappy baggage. 

Ron Artest was shipped off to the Houston Rockets for a hell of a return. The price tag for the Punching Pacer? A number one draft pick in '09, a chance to reunite with the annually underrated Bobby Jackson, and the draft rights to unsigned '08 pick Donte Greene. In case you're keeping score at home that's three first round picks. (Jackson was picked 23rd overall in '97) If that wasn't enough there's also "cash considerations" whatever that means.

Don't get me wrong, I like Artest in a Rockets uniform, maybe he can light a playoff fire under Tracy McGrady's sleepy ass. But for a guy the Kings didn't really want and who didn't want to be there I say the regal ones did good.

Full story at ESPN.com 

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