Lebrons's Love of Baklava Might Change Landscape of NBA

So I don't usually like to toot on my horn, but toot toot baby. So far this week I've mailed in Brett Favre's reinstatement letter for him hours before his actual fax, pointed out Michelle Wie's mental game weaknesses before a late collapse does her in this week, and now we get this story by Ian Thomsen of CNNSI: "Greek Team may take run at LeBron in 2010."

I will admit though, when I penned this little gem, I never believed that Europe was even close to making a run at an NBA starter, let alone the biggest star in the league. I was merely offering advice to David Stern, to sit back, take a look at what's going on, and try to come up with a long term solution. But if this rumor has any wings, Stern better kick it up a notch and start inciting fascist coups in opposing countries. While of course that's a ridiculous notion, the prospect of losing King James to a country with an actual monarchy has to be widening the skidmarks on Stern's already soiled britches.  

Something like this happening has always been quickly dismissed because the revenue gap between European teams and NBA teams is like the gap between Wal-Mart and K-Mart. No fiscal jockey could ever approve of the spending it would take to lure James. But as pointed out during the Josh Childress move, the owners of teams like Olympiakos, who bought Childress and are luring Lebron, couldn't care less about the bottom dollar. They're out to spend their money like it's Diddy's birthday. 

So what would happen if Olympiakos, just for the thrill of it, threw a huge amount of money in Lebron's face just to see what would happen? Because if there's one thing rich people like to do with their money, it's upstage other rich people. 

Would anyone call the Greek's bluff? I know the Cavs wouldn't. They're already in trouble of losing him because they won't shell out the dough to get him a high caliber wingman. (The Pippen to his Jordan, if you like.) So who then? Don't even look in the direction of the other small market teams, they barely stay afloat as it is. But what about the big market teams? Chicago's already cash-strapped, Miami will be by the time 2010 rolls around, D.C. just threw the vault at gimpy Gilbert, Boston's overloaded, and LA can't possibly afford Bryant, Gasol, and James. 

So that leaves us with New York. But the Knicks just finished a horrible run on the Isaiah train. As much as Bron Bron would energize a starving fanbase, I just don't think James Dolan's accountants would let him get  anywhere near that deal right now.  Which is why the logical choice is the soon to be Brooklyn Nets. Not that they could fiscally justify it, but because it's a matter of pride. For the sake of the reputation of his country the almighty Jiggaman will save the NBA. 

Jay-Z, inspired by a zeal to kick some Greek ass, will pen "The Lebron Chronicles," the greatest rap LP ever conceived. After this all other rappers will stop honing their craft any further as they have nowhere to go but down, and Jay-Z will virtually force everyone in the country to buy the historical album. He will then deliver a giant Cristal bottle filled with ten thousand dollar bills to Lebron's home in Cleveland, with a note that says "See you in the Bronx.  -Jigga" Yeah that's pretty much how it's gonna go down. While all of this might sound ridiculous and contrived, I was right about three other things this week, so you never know, right?

Ian Thomsen's little gem.