Pour Some Haterade On Me

Ah yes, July the 30th. With baseball being the only thing on and the Olympics not starting for another week or so, it's time for the worldwide leader to fill up space. Last year at this time, sparks were flying and the local water holes were abuzz with talk of "Who's More Now." This year, it's all about who's considered "Titletown USA". As stupid and pointless as the "Now" question was, at least it was debatable. For my money, you're wasting your breath on anything more than a toss-up between L.A. and New York with "Titletown."

But from the depths of the entertainment black hole that is late July sports comes a nifty piece by Mark Schlabach at ESPN.com. Maybe it's just cause his name sounds like Mark Schlereth, whom I have a man-crush on, but either way, Schlabach put together a great list of the top ten most hated college football schools. Now there's something I could debate while sipping suds.

For the most part I say Schlabach has the top three nailed down. OSU, USC, and Notre Dame in the top three; you'll get no argument from me on that. The rest of the list is more debatable, but I would agree all those teams deserve a spot. 

But the point I'm trying to make is not about the validity of his list, it's about why ESPN hasn't launched a full campaign about this, rather than silly topics like "Now" and "Titletown." "Who's Being Playa-Hated On the Most," would be a ratings bonanza. Each team up for discussion could have a dramatic feature piece put together that showed them winning titles while set to Lux Aeterna, or some other creepy musical score. Fans can send in videos of them laying the smack down on the contestants, Jim Rome style. And if they branch out and do college basketball, we can get Stuart Scott and Jay Bilas finally go at it with a Duke-Carolina fist-fight. My money's on Bilas by the way, to quote the draft-guru himself, "He's got a bit of a mean streak," and really angry eyes.

So I say Mark Schlabach and his better looking brother from another mother, Schlereth, kick the metrosexual head of programming for ESPN in the balls, and make this thing happen. Otherwise prepare for the inevitable next summer when ESPN brings us topics like "Who Dresses the Snazziest," or "Who's got the Most 'Tude" I'm guessing that one's already in production sadly.

Find Mark Schlabach's full list here at ESPN.com