Thursday Throw-down: The Olympics VS The Super Bowl

Welcome to Thursday boys and girls! Each and every 4th day of the work week we will have a mighty throw-down; a (somewhat) scientific comparison between two things. Maybe one week its two athletes, or two sports, or two athlete's wives/mistresses.

This week in honor of the upcoming Summer Olympics just hours away (unless you don't count the fruity opening ceremonies, which I don't) we'll throw-down with the 2008 Summer games vs. The Super Bowl. It's the pinnacle of international competition doing battle with the pinnacle of good 'ol AMERICAN competition. And you know, beer and over produced halftime shows.

Let's Throw-down!

	THE 2008 OLYMPICS	THE SUPER BOWL
SPORT	With 34 different sports represented it's got something for everyone including some really fun obscure sports like table tennis and trampoline, which we are all a little surprised to find out are actual sports.	Football. I mean it's America's favorite sport. There's lots of hitting and running and throwing and what not. It's quite nice.
FANS	You've got a random and extremely small assortment of fans from countries all over the world. And then you've got a billion Chinese.	If you're lucky you get Raiders fans, which is basically an assortment of people celebrating Halloween every day. If you're having a bad day you get Eagle fans who will boo Santa Clause, misspell their own team's name in chants, and consume a billion cheese steaks.
BEST ATHLETE	I'll go ahead and pick American swimmer Michael Phelps; he may win the record for most gold medals won in a single Olympics and he's got a really sweet 'stache.	Tom Brady. He's dreamy.
WORST ATHLETE	Table Tennis player (come on this is just Ping Pong right?). Incredible hand-eye coordination and quickness. Poor muscle definition, personality, and exclusively Asian in ethnicity.	Punter. Incredible leg strength and flexibility. Poor tackling ability, size, strength, mental toughness, and just about everything else required of any other position player.
AWARD GIVEN	Small circular medal, hopefully golden.	Vince Lombardi trophy, a giant phallic symbol with a little football on top.
LOCATION	Beijing, China. Possibly the most polluted area on the planet. Crowded city, lack of English spoken.	Usually a warm, tourist friendly city in America. Plenty of English spoken.
TV PERSONALITY	Bob Costas. That little guy is just brimming with interesting sports anecdotes and statistics.	John Madden. He's everything BUT little and is expanding every day.

And the winner of the 1st annual Wet Hot American Sports Thursday Throw-down.....

THE SUPER BOWL! Come on, did you think we'd pick some "Foreign" sporting event over our good 'ol American tackle-fest? The truth is, I've never heard of an Olympics party and as far as I know the commercials are not that funny. And I complain that the Super Bowl is WAY too long, not to mention the pregame show, but the Olympics last weeks. What if we had to wait WEEKS to find out who was in fact going to Disney World?

Congrats Super Bowl, you will receive a free subscription to the new award winning blog "Wet Hot American Sports." My friends tell me it's all the rage.